98th Entry Halton Apprentices

 
WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND:
Definitely not!
WIFE:
Why not - don’t you like being married?
HUSBAND:
Of course I do.
WIFE:
Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
HUSBAND:
Okay, I’d get married again.
WIFE:
You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND:
(Makes audible groan).
WIFE:
Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND:
Sure, it’s a great house.
WIFE:
Would you sleep with her in [...]

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You are cautioned [...]

 
Eddie Cochran died fifty years ago in April 1960. We had not yet arrived at Halton but I can still remember the excitement of his records. His music carried on long after his death. He was only 21 years old when he died. But what a legacy of real rock ‘n roll he left us [...]

Politicians don’t seem to want to talk about the fact that we have around 10,000 of our armed forces fighting and dying in a pointless war in Afghanistan. I personally have not heard anything from them on the subject during the election campaign. Not a vote winner is it?
We should not forget that both Labour [...]

 
 Just received this from our old Flt Cdr Stuart Musgrove:
Denis Healey, Jim Callaghan, etc. The whole of the Labour Party leaders were there .. (and all the socialists from other parts of the world..). Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed.
They run to greet him, to hug him and to reminisce about the good [...]

Frankie Howerd used to say in mock astonishment: “I’m flabbergasted—never has my flabber been so gasted!”.
Three Labour MPs accused of fiddling their expenses have been granted taxpayer-funded legal aid.
David Chaytor, Elliot Morley and Jim Devine are due to go on trial later this year accused of theft by false accounting. It is claimed they stole [...]

Do you ever look up at the contrails high above your house and wonder where that aircraft has come from where it might be going and what it might be, if so try this web site http://www.radarvirtuel.com/#.
This is a voluntary web site built through cooperation from aircraft enthusiasts and their scanners plotting aircraft in the [...]

I have just booked on line to go and see the musical ‘Oliver’ at the Royal Theatre Drury Lane in July. The role of Fagin must be about to change around that time as Griff Rhys Jones finishes his run in the West End. Then I thought who would be available around that time! Well, of course, Darling. Perfect, [...]

If all else fails - read the instructions!
Having recently got a new VW Golf, on opening the bonnet we found an interesting sticker on the air filter. Somebody somewhere has an excellent sense of humour. May they live long and prosper!
Some may think something like that might have been appropriate in some of the cockpits [...]

 
Whats the duck got to do with Easter? Nothing, but have a good one anyway.